My whine solutions seems to help. She must go into another room and whine where I don't have to hear it, then when she's done she can come back out and we find a solution for the original problem.
I was thinking though, that they whine because they don't know a better way to get their feelings out. As a parent it's my job to teach her better ways to express herself, so is making her whine in another room really solving the problem or just masking the symptoms?
The same applies for when they are angry and strike out at those around them. Now think about what you do when you're mad. You may raise your voice, or you may use "bad" or "grown up" words to express yourself, sometimes even resorting to name calling. So how do we teach out children to behave differently then we do ourselves?

We don't.
Children learn more from what they see and hear when we aren't looking then what we try to teach them. So in order to get our children to stop whining we must stop the adult version of whining ourselves. If we want them to control their anger, we must show them how, rather then just tell them.
It's much more effective to deal with the root of the problem: unable to express themselves appropriately, then to continually try and control the symptoms: whining, hitting, yelling. It's ok to cry and have feelings, we should nevertheless put children feel ashamed or scared to have feelings. I'll share my ideas how after I research and try out a few ideas!

We all know that everyone parents differently, but the biggest differences I see are what some see as important others don't. We all choose to pick different battles, and have different expectations for our children.
Some of the most interesting things I've seen are bottles, nursing, and sleep patterns.
Some think its best to skip bottles all together, some think if it helps the child let them keep it. As mine refused a bottle every time it was offered I can't voice any opinion on the matter, except they need to be able to use a cup by school, if for no other reason then to keep spillage to a minimum, and it is possible they would be teased by other children. Bullying starts early now, but if a child takes a bottle of warm water at night that's between them and their parents.
The two camps on nursing are always based on how long to continue. The worst part of this discussion is the guilt and sadness of those who can't nurse, or who can't do it for very long. I thought this was created by women who can, but I've since noticed a surge in support for these struggling mothers. This is wonderful to see, as new moms have enough concerns without the judgements of other moms. Once nursing is established it's interesting to see how long is deemed acceptable. I've seen opinions from 3 months to whenever the child stops, the extreme cases of 10 and 12 year olds are on the Internet, but I don't know any myself. I think it's up to the child and parent, only they know what is right for them.
Oh the sleeping! In the crib, cosleeping, lengths of naps... I've seen so many opinions and statements on this, and I like to see what others say, but I'm if the belief that if they sleep you're lucky and let them. I don't wake my child from a nap unless supper is ready, I don't like to wake her in the morning unless I need to, and if she asks to go to bed I sure let her. Not everyone agrees with me, and I fully respect that. Come school they will need to be on a schedule, and I'll prepare for that in advance. Again, every family has needs and wants, and must do what is best for them.
How do you feel about the differences in parenting? Do you think we should all parent the same way or does everyone need to adjust in their own way?

Please do not consider this as a rant, but as an honest question to which I'd love an answer. What's wrong with my stuff???
My friends have started popping out babies, again. The first round of friends was before me, so I got a ton of stuff for either super cheap or free, in what I thought was a good will effort on their part but now realize it was just a way for them to get it out of their house but not feel quilty because it went to a friend.
The second round were after my girl was born, so I thought great, I'll pass on some of this stuff and some that I got brand new, some not even used. Nope. They may be telling me how they are so far behind they don't have cell phones or TV and might lose the house soon, but they'd rather spend $500 on a stroller then take mine for $30, or to buy a $300 infant carrier rather then just use mine for free. It was a little insulting, I don't understand what is wrong with things I used. They were good enough for my baby, and if I had any hope of another they'd be good enough then too.
Next came the extras. You know, a friend of a friend's cousin who super needs stuff, free or cheap. They go around town collecting from everyone, but no one ever comes to get my stuff.
Now there's another wave of babies coming. I'm watching my friends pop bellies faster then I can change my wallet. I had some rough patches but now I'm in a place where I'm ready to part with some of my dear baby items, I wonder what will happen. Maybe this is the group who will accept my help, maybe they would rather have a house and heat to go with their second hand playpen then a new one with no home to put it in.
The absolute worst part? Those who don't want my items will often purchase off a buy and sell website, from complete strangers, and pay more then I would have asked for. Go figure.

Registration for school next year has already started. That's crazy!! We aren't even done this year. The leap from preschool to kindergarten seems huge, and it's taking a lot of preparation.
So far we picked a school. That alone was ridiculous. Checking websites, touring, talking to principals and teachers, investigating neighborhoods, and checking test results. Yes, I'm "that" mom, I check the test results and where the school is listed provincially based on tests and academic performance, as well as extracurriculars and arts and sports. I personally don't care how well the sports teams do, but my girl might so I like to know just that they have one.
I won't worry about her clothes until a week before, these kids grow so fast they wouldn't fit for school if I bought them now. My clothes are a whole other story :)
Thanks to my wonderful girl telling me in dress like a teenager I have decided that my appearance should better reflect my inside and my place in life. So shopping I go!!
This has lead to a downward spiral. If I'm going to get new clothes I may as well get a new haircut, so of course I have to consider a new hair colour too. Clothes also need shoes, and purses...
Then there is the time I will be spending going back and forth to the school evey day; tires, brakes, and windshield wipers over the summer. Then I may as well run errands and get out of the house a bit. Why bother driving there just to drive home? So...maybe I "need" a tablet so I can write and update my blog from wherever I end up.
I know it all seems ridiculous, but I have to be prepared too, this will be a huge change in my life too. When she grows and changes it's time for me to grow and change too.
Besides, after all the work I did picking a school and completing the registration process I deserve a few things for me before I start getting all her stuf ready at the end of summer.

Now if any of you are like me, you can't understand how I justify the expense, and think I must be lucky to be able to afford it all. Well, here's my secret: I can't afford it, I'm doing it on a budget and cutting some corners.
My "new" clothes are from sale racks, $5 or less per item, sometimes a splurge for a great basic item, nothing over $10. For purses an exchange with friends and family can be great, people use different purses at different stages of life. My girl is older so I'm back to smaller and more fashionable purses, while my friends with younger kids need the bigger purses that fit everything. Shoes bought off season or second hand are much more affordable, and when you purchase one or two items over the summer it won't be much at once. There is always the option of clothing swaps or purchasing second hand. I find this better for children as their clothes don't mold to them quite like a woman's does. It's also a great way to get jackets, jeans already broken in, dresses, and accessories. Be careful when purchasing shirts and pants as they may have formed to their previous owner and not fit you properly.
Larger purchases (tires, tablet, etc) often can be planned around sales. There will always be tire sales at the change of season, however you might get a better deal in the middle when most people aren't purchasing. Companies need to work harder to make sales during their off season so you might just find a great deal.

Good luck and happy school planning!

I've once again been reminded that I'm not 17 anymore, and in sure that I'll regret my behavior tonight. It was fun though!
It was a night without my girl so I had cake for breakfast, lunch from a can, and chips for supper. My jeans won't be happy tomorrow, and maybe I should toss in an extra workout...fun though!
There's a ton of other stuff I did at 17 that's not ok now, some I do now and some I don't. Short shorts outside the house just seem wrong now, not just because I don't look like I did then, but because I would be judged and my girl would learn that's how to dress. I no longer eat ice cream as a meal, because I don't have the motabolisim and I can tell now when I had too much sugar. I also don't stay up all night, even without alcohol I feel hung over if I don't get enough sleep. Also, theres too much to do the next day to stay up all night, I need at least 5 hours to even think about waking up and starting a day. I can't eat a whole bag of chips anymore, but I am pleased to say I can eat an entire pizza once a year!
I don't wear pajamas outside the house, I don't run errands without shoes, and I try not to drink pop before breakfast. I guess a lot has changed in the past few years, I'm hoping I don't regret my junk food feast too much tomorrow!

I live in a fairly happy home. As most other homes there is always something amiss, a child up to some mischief, or a bill that's a bit late. We still have fun, an we laugh through the messes.
I'm judged when people visit though, because I don't always agree with what they expect. My sink full of clean dishes shows I took the time to bath my child after supper. My laundry basket full of clean clothes that never made it to the dresser means I went for a walk with my child instead of putting it in drawers. The vacuum in the middle of the room means the "dragon" that cleaned the floor just never got back in the closet. The bags of groceries on the pantry floor is proof I keep a pantry full of food and spent more time cooking it then putting it on a shelf. The bicycle into dining room is a testament to how much my child loves that bike and how far a mommy will go to make a child feel loved and that what she loves is important too. That pile of pillows on my vacuumed floor shows how much fun we have.

When you enter my home the mess you see is just a symbol of the fun, the love, and the adventures that we share all day. Yes, I place the emotional wellness of my child ahead of your expectations of tidiness. If its clean, we are happy, and things are paid for, then it's a happy home indeed!

Trying to decide when your child is ready for a pet can be hard. Are they old enough to feed it? Clean up after it? Care for it every day? And remember to pay attention to it too?
I don't think there's an exact age, as all kids develop at their own pace, but I do think there are some things they should be able to do first. The type of pet should also be considered dependent upon their level of maturity.
Fish are a great starter pet because you add a little food every day an if you don't have a filtered tank then you clean it out when needed. They are low maintenance and won't mess up your house. A hamster or gerbil seems the next logical step. They stay in a cage and need food, water, and a clean cage. I wasnt so keen on the idea this time, as now I won't be getting the pet I've long wanted, I just don't need too many things to feed, it won't happen. However, when they can do most of the care an the giver of the pet has offered to pay for the ongoing care and feeding, it's hard to say no...
So now I get to see just how ready my girl is for a pet. So far to going well, she makes sure there's good and water and a clear path and access to each. Maybe she can start takin care if herself a bit more too, and I can have hot showers again...
Having a pet teaches responisibility and empathy and caring for other animals and people. It also can encourage learning and helps with self esteem. If they can tell their friends it's their very own pet and they take care of it they will have a sense of pride, and in something worth vein proud of. These kids are our future, how they learn to care for small helpless animals now may be reflected in how they parent and then how they care for their parents (yup, this is where we get all that love and caring back!) when we age and need them.

As I'm sitting here I'm thinking about just the kind of person I want to be, how I want to portray myself, and who I want to be more like. This has lead me to the thought that somewhere there's a mom or young woman who wants to be like me.

I feel bad because I don't run y child to all kinda of activities, I like to do things at home and sometimes we both just new a quiet day at home. I know some moms who are always running around and would love one of those days at home with their kids. Then I think I wish that I always had my hair and make up done and looked great. Im sure there are moms out there who are to embarrassed or insecure to leave the house without spending the time and effort on their appearance sometimes. They probably get up an hour earlier then I do so they can look that way when they run their kid to school, they probably secretly wish yet could have some of that time back to sleep later or do something they love but don't have time for anymore. This doesn't even consider the women who need to keep a spotless house to keep their man happy. In willing to bet that there's at least a few who wish try could just put the mess aside for a bit and get down to play with their kids.

I guess maybe things aren't that bad here, I get to do a lot of things that others don't, and just like I want to be more like some people, there's people who want to be more like me!

We all make mistakes parenting, all different mistakes. Single moms make different mistakes then couples, and I make my very own! I've decided that these are mistakes I won't make:

My child is the most important thing in my life, but I won't let her be the ONLYthing in my life. Not only is that unhealthy for me but it's a lot of pressure for a little person

It's good to eat well and exercise, but I won't let her weight/shape to be the main concern. I worry about gaining a little too much weight, and I don't want her to be an unhealthy weight, but my expectations for myself are different for her. This is for a few reasons; my nutritional requirements are different then hers, I'm not growing not will I have a growth spurt to even out my extra tummy while I know that in a week she will, and our body shapes are and will be different, so I need to work areas she does not, plus we have different motabolisim rates. I will encourage her to focus on feeling healthy and maintaining that, while I do the same

I may date occasionally, and sometimes she will know but sometimes she won't. I'm not going to make the mistake of lettin her meet everyone I date or even know every time I go out one a date, but I won't hide it from her either. I want her to grow up with a healthy attitude towards dating and know that it's not the end all be all of life but can help you meet that person you belong with

I want her to do well in school and activities, but I won't try to make her love all the things I do. I liked English and hated PE, but if she likes PE and Chemistry or dance instead of an instrument, then I'll be excited about it with her and encourage her to reach the goals she sets for herself, not ones I've made for her

People are emotional and I plan to teach her that, and that it's ok and normal to have a range of emotions and that there are healthy ways to deal with them. I won't make her think its wrong to cry or that mommies don't get sad, I won't make her ashamed of her feelings

I'm sure that I will make a ton of mistakes though. Too much value on possessions, expecting certain things out of a relationship, choosing men based on the wrong criteria, buying a car because its a pretty colour, and my favorite and the one I'm so far most guilty of; forgetting the backpack/lunch at home and running to the tire for lunch food because I'm already 45 mins from home.

I know you will make your own mistakes, but are there some you are determined not to make?