My feelings

I feel guilty, shamed, and disliked because of my feelings. The people I have been surrounded by, either by choice or circumstance, have made it clear to me that my feelings are not acceptable and I can't have them, I especially can't express them. How can we teach children the appropriate way to express emotions when we are not allowed ourselves? I try to validate my child's feelings, she can't help it, that's just how she feels. When she's disappointed I explain its normal and sometimes things go well and others they don't, when shes insulted or embarrassed we try to get to the root of the problem and find a way to feel better. We explain to them to tell their friend/teacher/babysitter how it made them feel and why, so we can work through it. So why then do my friends turn from me or become angry and insulting when I state simply what they did has hurt my feelings? Why can I not tell my family member or my best friend that their behaviour is embarrassing me? If I say or do something they find unpleasant they are certain to tell me so, and not politely either. Yet my polite "I feel sad when you say that" is mean, rude, insulting, and worthy of ending a friendship. If I point out that I didn't say what they report I did, or should I remind them that it was them who forgot our plans, then I'm a horrible person. I have no true friends left, because at some point they have hurt and insulted me enough and I can't smile and pretend its OK anymore. I am a human with feelings and deserve to be treated as such. I am allowed to feel how I feel and I refuse to be stifled any longer. Especially by mothers who would jump into action if anyone spoke to their child as they speak to me. People who teach children feelings are valid and you should deal with them should expect their adult friends and family to do the same.