<![CDATA[SuperMomsSuperKids<br /> - Super?Mom]]>Thu, 10 Mar 2016 11:11:09 -0800Weebly<![CDATA[Bedtime Battle Surrender]]>Tue, 16 Feb 2016 05:34:15 GMThttp://supermomssuperkids.weebly.com/supermom/bedtime-battle-surrenderI am losing the bedtime battle
My new goal is to survive bedtime sane
I no longer watch the clock to make sure I don't miss it by 10 minutes, but I watch her face and look for any sign at all that she is wearing out. A yawn, a few extra blinks, anything, then I pounce!

So here is what I have learned 
1) I will never win
2) If it is a school day I only need 20 minutes to get her fed and out the door
3) Once I drop her off she is her teachers problem. This is easier when I do not particularily love her teacher, I know they will have a rough day
4) If I am tired enough I really can go to sleep first!
5) Bedtime at 7pm and bedtime at 9pm both get her to sleep by 9:30, but one leaves me more time to not be yelled at
6) Even if I do not yell, she will
7) I can drink coffee at my bedtime and still sleep, but I am less grumpy about her not sleeping

Usually, a long bedtime means they need to go to bed earlier because they need more sleep. It has always always worked for me before. Now it doesn't, and I am both sad and haopy about it. Sure she was happier sleeping 12 hours, but if she stays up later I gain a couple hours in my day and extra time with her. It does mean that I now go to bed 10 minutes after she is asleep so I had to rearrange what I was doing after bedtime. 

I myself have been feeling a lot of changes latel, where I am not feeling as worried when she is up later, I am not going to sleep myself to hide, but I do go to bed early because my body needs it. 

So much has changed lately! I am not even sure that I am writing from the same place that  used too, even just two months ago, but this is all part of being a mom. I grow as she grows. We have too. ]]>
<![CDATA[Save Money With Coffee Beans]]>Fri, 10 Apr 2015 17:48:57 GMThttp://supermomssuperkids.weebly.com/supermom/save-money-with-coffee-beans To add to the new information in the realm of First World Problems, my Tassimo is wearing out. This is my second Tassimo in 6 years, they replaced my first one well beyond the warrenty (simple mistake, but it made me very happy!) Now I am faced with the decision to replace it or not. I have choosen not too.
I remember when I made my own coffee, in an actual coffee pot, and when i used my French Press travel mug, and I think it's time to return! This saves me money in SO many ways!!!

1) much cheaper, it's actually cheaper to make an entire pot then one cup in my Tassimo (or a Kureg if you're not using the reusable cup)
2) almost as fast, I can set my coffee pot to wake up before me and brew itself, or I can boil a kettle and toss it in my french press, about 1-2 mins, then let it "steep" for 5 mins (I like a strong coffee)
3) a small bowl (I'm currently using a tealight holder) full of straight from the package coffee beans has made my entire upper level of my house smell amazing
4) I can choose exactly how strong, what type, which roast, etc that I want each day. Sure I can do that with Tassimo too, I've a cupboard full, but if you want straight up coffee it's really only coffee, light, dark, or some fancy blend or cappacino. With making my own, I can even mix my own special blend of coffee beans each morning (that totally makes me look a little pathetic doesnt it, well, if people can make their own wine I can blend my own coffee!)
5) coffee beans are a good deoderizer for other places then the house and they hide well, without adding respritory issues and sprays and chemicals
6) I can now choose free trade options if I want, so I'm doing something good I guess
7) I can use my coffee beans for baking, airfreshner, snacks (chocolate coffered espresso beans anyone?!) crafts, playing "marbles" without buying marbles... It's almost endless, and they are cheap enough in bulk to actually justify mulitple uses.

Saving the world one coffee bean at a time!

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<![CDATA[Sometimes It's Normal]]>Sat, 14 Mar 2015 15:00:57 GMThttp://supermomssuperkids.weebly.com/supermom/sometimes-its-normal    I have been noticiing a growing trend among parents, and moms in particular where everything is a huge deal, needs a label, and might be the end of their relationship with their child. Really?
    Sometimes kids have ADHD. Sometimes they are sensory specific, but guess what? That neither means every child is nor does it mean their entire life needs to be altered and changed and the household will need to be completly reformed from the ground up.
    "My child says I dont' love them" Once? Then they are angry. Did you react strongly to it and make it a huge deal? They'll do it again because it works. Tell them they know that's not true and move on with your life. IT doesn't mean they hate you, it doesn't mean you are a bad parent, it means they are having a bad day and need to express it. If they are telling other peoeple quietly and not expecting a big deal, then you worry about it.
    "My child won't wear jeans in the car" OR "my girl won't wear jeans" Sounds right. Do you wear jeans? Have you noticed how the zipper bulges? Do they scratch at your legs (mainly when they haven't been shaved in a while) do you find that some days they seem really comfortable and some days you want to wear yoga pants or stretch pants or even pajamas all day? Well unless you are running yourself to the doctor because you don't like jeans every day then don't run your child in for the same thing. I didn't wear jeans until junior high, and I assure you, I don't have sensory processing disorder, I have I want to be comfortable.
    Does your child have a few words they can't say? That's because they are little and still learning how to move their tongue around in their mouth.
     There ARE reasons to address certain issues, I'm not by any means saying that there's never a sign of anything more serious, but I AM saying that throwing a label on every child isn't the most prodcutive or useful way to do  things. Kids now are doing the same things we did, but they keep chaning the definitions of things and adding symptoms so that we all qualify for something, does that mean we are not normal? I took the "test" for autism online, apparently I have it. Yet I don't. My child hit a few of them, it says she has it, does she? no. Not any more then I do. I was 30 when someone figured out I have OCD, I've known since high school but ok, I've done nothing to alter how I live and I'm just fine. I have to alternate my steps, I have to blink at certain times, and I have to step up the stairs with alternating feet. That all qualifies me for OCD. There's more, but those are the only ones noticiable to the naked eye.
    So how do you know? If something you've never seen another kid do happens a lot. If a child is scared of light instead of dark. If the temper tantrums are out of their control every single time and they can't seem to calm down. Basically things that are extreme. Watch out for the extreme things, the repeated behaviours, the things that make your tummy, not your brain, go "hmmmmm...." You'll know, it's your child, but just take a breath and calm down. Not everything your child does means they need a label.

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<![CDATA[It's Your Job]]>Mon, 19 Jan 2015 00:18:59 GMThttp://supermomssuperkids.weebly.com/supermom/its-your-job    School should teach this
   School should teach manners
   School should teach MY religion
   My young child should get themself up in the morning and eat breakfast
   My husband didn't do the thing I didn't ask him too
   My child can't tie their shoe
   My dog barks
   My child missed the bus
   My child is behind in school and the teachers didn't fix it
   Our doctor didn't check my child's temperature
   Our doctor can't tell just by looking how sick my child is
   It's too cold and the school is still open

 What do all these have in common? They are things I've read online in the past week or two. Everytime I read one of them, I think that's your job. These all have really simple answers.
  It's not the school's job to know what you think is important for your child to learn. It is their job to teach them what they need for the next grade, for high school or college. It's a parents job to fill in the rest.
  It's not the child's job to wake up in the morning, get breakfast, and wake you up so they can get to school. That's your job. You get them up, you make sure they eat, you help them feel loved, and you send them to school. If you have doubts feel free to look up child neglect laws in your town, not feeding and educating your child is neglect.
    Your husband probably isn't a mind reader. Maybe he is, but likely not. That means that no matter how much he wants to help you, he doesn't always know what you need him to do. I have found that an effective way of having my needs filled is to a) take care of it myself or b) communicate those needs to someone. He wants you to be happy, you want to be happy, and you both want him to be happy. Shared goals mean a lot!
  It seems to me that I can look at my child, who I see all the time, who I have bonded with and who is a massive part of my life, sometimes IS my life, and know that she's not feeling well. My doctor sees her a few times a year, and sees several other patients. It takes me not long to share the necessary details, and he can tell me what's wrong with her, but it's my job to see the symptoms, record them, report them, and treat them. I'm certain this is all also in your local child neglet laws.

  A parent also has the right to make safety related decisions. Too cold for school? Stay home. Sick child? Rather then wait for the school to call for pick up, stay home. It's your child, your responisibility, and your choice.
  All those things you want your child to learn in life, that makes up your job. It's your job as the parent to teach them. It's your job to care for pets, to tie shoes, to cure fevers and make meals. It's a hard job, and certainly needs some age appropriate delegation, but ultimitely you are the manager, so it's still your job to make sure they are doing what they need to. How do I know it's your job? Simple.  You're the parent.


 
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<![CDATA[The Great Book Decision]]>Mon, 12 Jan 2015 02:44:26 GMThttp://supermomssuperkids.weebly.com/supermom/the-great-book-decisionI write. I've always written. It's how I relax and how I get my feelings out in the open. Stories, blogs, kids books, sometimes I just have to write.
    I decided years ago to write a book. I have 3 started, and a series of children's books just needing the illustrations completed. I have an account to sell books by order, and the ability to sell ebooks. Yet they are all in my computer, in my notebooks, and in my head. I've done nothing else with them. For no good reason.
     Sure there's always excuses: I'm busy, I'm scared, I don't know how...
    What it comes down to is I just haven't hit the button. I just haven't actually done it. I promised someone I would. I always dreamt that is how I would make a living and a life. Why can't I just do it???
    Would you do it?
    What's your secret dream you should just do?
    How do I move forward and just get it done?
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<![CDATA[We Aren't Our Parents]]>Mon, 12 Jan 2015 02:29:58 GMThttp://supermomssuperkids.weebly.com/supermom/we-arent-our-parents    Lately I've heard a lot about how our children learn everything from what we do, so what we do now and how we act will form who they become.
    So by that theory you are all exactly like your parents.
     They are exactly like their parents.
    Serial killers have children exactly like them.
    I'm call BS! I am NOT just like my mother, and while I share some common attributes with my father, I'm not just like him either.
    My parents spanked. Mind you I only remember it once, but i remember being threatened with it and believing they would. I don't spank at all and if I do "threaten" it comes out as a joke and my child doesn't even vaguely believe me.
    My parents ate meals I won't ever eat.
    My dad ran the house and my mom didn't drive, choose our groceries or meals, pay or even know what the bills were, or try to do any banking. I know she had her own account once, but I don't remember it ever being a thing or a big deal, it was just there (or not) and dad did all the hard stuff. I on the other hand haven't found a man I dated or was in a relationship with that I would be comfortable handing over all the bills and money issues, and I can't stand being judged on meals or told what to cook, not to mention not ever letting go of my car keys. I need to be able to drive for when I need to. I think a marriage should be a partnership where I am involved in all the decisions just as much as any man I marry. More so if I have more education and financial sense. That's not to say my dad never cooked because he did, and my mom certainly had a say in the big decisions, but it didn't feel equal to me. I knew who had more weight to their opinion, or who had the final say. That's find and it worked for them, but it just isn't for me.
    In the same way, I don't parent exactly like they do. I took my favorite parts and memories and I repeat those, I remember the things I didn't like and I try to avoid those. Will my child be perfect? NO! Will she learn from both my mistakes and my success? YES! She won't be exactly like me, but I do hope that she takes all the good parts of my parenting and uses them, while getting rid of the negative parts. She has her own mistakes to make, just as I have my own.

You are not your parents. You are not forming the exact person your child will be every time you open your mouth. You will be the most influential person in their lives, but they will become their own person in the end.


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<![CDATA[Secrets To Saving Money]]>Sat, 10 Jan 2015 19:36:25 GMThttp://supermomssuperkids.weebly.com/supermom/secrets-to-saving-moneyI'm no professional, it's been years since I took an accounting course, and I'm not earning a lot of money, but I've learned a few secrets to save a little money.

  Buy instead of rent. It looked into it and it would cost me $70+ to rent a carpet cleaner. I like to clean my living room carpets at least once a month, so I found one on sale for $95 and it came with cleaner. Even if I only rented once or twice a year this will save me money.

   Make it at home instead of buying it. Hats, bread, scarves, pictures, there's so many things you can just make at home. I got a bread maching 8 years ago and I'm still using it for fresh bread and buns. I save over half the cost per batch, usually more, and we get to eat it fresh from the oven. I can also get enough wool for 4 scarves for $10, much cheaper then buying and you can personalize them. Or just sell them and buy the things you need.
 
    Save your change.. Empty the change out of your wallet or purse and put it in a piggy bank (I even found one that's actually a pig and he oinks when you put money in) If you want to go one step farther save all your $5 bills too. You can save $20+ every month, if you only use cash then you'll save even more.

   Get dryer balls. The investment (I got mine for $30 from Norwex, wool) will save you 1)dryer time and therefore energy, 2)dryer sheets, 3)fabric softener. I worked it out to about $5-$10 savings per month. What a great way to save an extra $100 year and actually waste less time and it's less work since they just live in my dryer.

     Use less cleaning supplies. I started using cleaning mix from the Farmers market, natural and lasts forever, and now I"m using Norwex as the cloths last years and clean with just water. Yes I still use soap some places, dishsoap mostly, and we are having fewer headaches and my house smells cleaner.

 Vinegar for everything! It cleans washing machines, dishwashers, sinks, microwaves, It can also help with removing the smell of cat pee (not spray, nothing gets that out!)  and unclog drains with a little baking soda.

    Buy better quality items, just invest the money in something that will last. This may sound counterintuitive, but I have $10 shirts I bought 10 years ago that still work and fit, but I've got $3 shirts from last year with holes. Sometimes when you get less expensive items you just end of buying more of them. Get one good pair of boots instead of a few pairs of cheap ones, your feet and your wallet will thank you.

    Bulk buy.
    Care for you stuff. The better you maintain it the longer it'll last.
   Close your curtains when it's hot or cold. It'll help regulate the temperature in your house.
    Use vinegar to start dissolving the dishwasher tab, it cleans better and you won't be as angry opening a dishwasher to find dirty dishes all the time.

     Buy products that have multiple uses. A pan that goes in the microwave and oven,  a sports band that has a watch function, a kitchen mixer that has useful attachements so you don't have to buy additional gadgets.

     Winter TIres.

     Sheets make great furniture covers (splurge on pretty ones) and they help your furniture last longer.

Share your own tips!

  

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<![CDATA[Meds for Kids?]]>Tue, 30 Dec 2014 23:38:24 GMThttp://supermomssuperkids.weebly.com/supermom/meds-for-kidsBenedry to help them sleep
Cough medicine
Melatonin to make them sleep
Other "medicine" to make them sleep
Allergy pills/liquids

If you medicate your kids ALL the time, that teaches them they NEED medicine all the time.
Beyond that, lets look at recommendations. I normally use WebMD so I'll use some of that, a little of my own peditricians advice, and what I've learned from my pharmasist (who my daughters school loves). Also, a few littel things I liked of America's Supernanny.

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<![CDATA[WE are the Forgotten]]>Thu, 20 Nov 2014 23:39:07 GMThttp://supermomssuperkids.weebly.com/supermom/we-are-the-forgottenKitchen cleaning elves
Sock finding gremlins
Meal cooking monsters
Animal feeding ghosts

 Except none of them exists. It's all US. The moms (sometimes the dads!)  that drive places to wait outside unseen, the grocery shoppers who somehow get everyone's favorites on a budget and get it all put away before anyone notices. We wash the clothes while everyone sleeps and drink our coffee to keep going. We are the forgotten. The unnoticed. Still important.

We are responible for all the birthday parties and presents, so who plans ours? Just don't forget to write it on the calander and send out reminders, or it may go unseen.
We are responsible for cooking everyone's favorite meals, with noone even knowing our favorite never mind letting us cook it and eat it (especially not warm!)
"Mommy I need..." everytime we enter the bathroom.
"Can I have a drink" everytime we enter the kitchen.
"Can I try yours" when we try to eat.

I don't get to sit down when I'm tired if they need something. I don't get to eat my own supper often. No one knows my favorite meal or TV show or asks what I want to do today. They don't wonder if I had enough sleep or if I had a nice visit with my friend. They want to know when they get a visit with their friend, since I dared to go for coffee with friend's mom. I got her favorite cake for my birthday. I got her grandmas favorite supper for my birthday. I got to sleep in once, she was finally getting better and after 3 nights of keeping me up and scaring me with just how sick, she slept late. That made me late for the rest of the family, which I certainly heard about.

It's not that they don't care. I know my family loves me and I know they do what they think will make me happy, they just don't know what that actually is. They don't mean to forget that I have needs and wants, they are just used to me taking care of theirs. I don't blame them, but I do sometimes feel overlooked or taken for granted. Sometimes I want a whole shower with hot water and no one pounding on the door, I want to finish my coffee while it's still warm enough to be coffee, and I want to eat what I like.

I still wouldn't trade a lifetime of getting what I want with the love and cuddels and "you're the best mommy ever"s that I get.


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<![CDATA[The Friendship Equation]]>Sat, 08 Nov 2014 17:02:48 GMThttp://supermomssuperkids.weebly.com/supermom/the-friendship-equation    Caring + Inside Jokes + Time = Friendship

    We all have friendships that last some friendships that don't.
          What makes the difference?
        To stay friends you need mutual respect, trust, and something that bonds you together. A common like, a common dislike, or the need to just chat through life sometimes, similar opinions or different opinions, just something that keeps you talking to each other, thinking nice thoughts about the other. So what happens when one friend starts to be less then kind to the other? When the days they hurt you and make you feel sad out number the days they build you up and remind you how amazing you are. Sometimes we count them as bad days, take a break, and begin again. How does that change when you have kids?
           I know exactly how it changes. If you stay in a friendship where you are being insulted, treated badly, taken advantage of, being cursed at or called names, etc, then those are the things you are teaching your child a friend should do. You have taught your child to stay friends with people who call them names and put them down, because if that's how mommy's friend treats her then that must be how it's supposed to be.  Let's change that!!
            Teach your child that while it's great to be forgiving, and you should give people another chance, that friends can repair damage done in the rush of melt down or a terrible day, but that at some point, you stick up for yourself. Teach them to leave negative relationships behind. Show them they deserve to be cared for and treated well. They will grow to have amazing friends, a support system that never waivers, and you will feel safe and confident letting them go out with thier friends, you can trust that peer pressure won't become a negative problem, you know they will make good decisions and not be bullied, because they have friends who will stand up for them.
        So go, teach your children how to be good friends, how to have good friends, and to leave behind the ones who cause them pain. This will create a better future for all of you.

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