So many things change when we become parents, and sometimes you don't even notice until months later. It took me a couple years to notice that somehow all my friends are paired up. Now that I'm a single parent, I find it harder to find people who understand what my life is like, and it can be very difficult to find people to spend time with. My married and engaged friends are of course spending their time with their significant others, as they should, and this often doesn't leave time for quality time with their single friends.
I've noticed it even more since I decided to re-enter the dating minefield. Women go out with their single friends to find men, and to meet new people. Often our single friends are the ones who know other single people, so withour them it becomes more difficult.
It is not their lack of help, or the fewer number of people I have to call at 10 on a Friday night, but the curiosity of how they all disappeared without me noticing. I know that when I started my journey into motherhood many of my female friends were single, and very interested in my life and the baby, but one day I looked up and everyone has found someone... Maybe I just feel leftout as they are off living life together and I'm packing school lunches and dining alone. The quesstion though, is where did they go. Are we simply no longer friends? Are they all paired up? Is it a combination of both?
When life gets hectic with a child you often don't notice what YOU are missing the most, but what the baby needs, so by the time you start to notice how many people you've drifted away from, or how long since you cut your hair, it's changed a lot. I like to hope that I didn't miss them finding someone and falling in love, but in some cases I think I did. Now when I look around I feel as though I've let them down by not sharing in their happiest moments while they were there for mine. It's time to make up for that!
I've noticed it even more since I decided to re-enter the dating minefield. Women go out with their single friends to find men, and to meet new people. Often our single friends are the ones who know other single people, so withour them it becomes more difficult.
It is not their lack of help, or the fewer number of people I have to call at 10 on a Friday night, but the curiosity of how they all disappeared without me noticing. I know that when I started my journey into motherhood many of my female friends were single, and very interested in my life and the baby, but one day I looked up and everyone has found someone... Maybe I just feel leftout as they are off living life together and I'm packing school lunches and dining alone. The quesstion though, is where did they go. Are we simply no longer friends? Are they all paired up? Is it a combination of both?
When life gets hectic with a child you often don't notice what YOU are missing the most, but what the baby needs, so by the time you start to notice how many people you've drifted away from, or how long since you cut your hair, it's changed a lot. I like to hope that I didn't miss them finding someone and falling in love, but in some cases I think I did. Now when I look around I feel as though I've let them down by not sharing in their happiest moments while they were there for mine. It's time to make up for that!
It's time now to remind my coupled up friends how much fun girls night is, and to learn how to fit in with their new lives, My friends don't need to be gone, we just need a new way to bond, new things to do. That leaves me less alone, and they will have their friend back, who cares and misses them.
That still leaves a void in my life though. Someone to share single girls nights out, someone to help me through the world of dating, and someone who knows what if feels like to spend so much time alone. I am discovering that finding new friends at this stage of life is almsot as difficult as meeting men. Where do you meet them? If there are so many single moms in the world, where are they? Why can't I find any? It's nice to have someone to share the pitfalls of single parenthood with, to discuss the custody issues, the uncomfortable looks from the other parents, the difficulty of getting along with an ex who just doesn't want to for the sack of the child.
These will be my adventures. I'll find female friends, and I'll start dating, and maybe