With Christmas on the way, I am listening constantly to family listing things they want to get my girl for Christmas. I feel two ways about this:
1. It's great that she has so many people who love her so much and want to make her feel special
2. She doesn't need so many things, especially not all on one day.
I want her to have things she wants, and I like that she can have toys and items to make her happy, I love watching her eyes light up when she gets excited. However, I want her to learn that things need to be earned, and that sometimes we can't have everything we want. I make it a point to get her one thing (preferable a big thing!) that she's asked for, and then a couple little things I think she'll like. As wonderful as it is for her to get so many great things, what will happen if one year we can't get her everything? What if she learns that you get everything you want and suddenly it stops. She will be heartbroken, confused, and possibly feel unloved. I don't want my child to equate love with things, or with getting things.
I also can not afford to get her so many expensive items. It makes me feel like less of a mother to watch others get her such great gifts, and make mine look less important. I know that she knows I love her, and that I do the best I can for her, but I don't want to look like I'm not as good as them...Rationaly I know this is my problem and very likely just in my head, she will love me no matter what I give her for gifts, but it's still there. I want to be able to give her the things she needs and wants.
I guess what it boils down too is that I don't want a spoiled and ungrateful child, and I feel that getting her mountains of things for Christmas will lead to that. I feel that it is fair for parents to speak to those purchasing gifts and let them know that great gifts are fine, but please, be reasonable. After all, there will be a birthday in just a few months, and I need there to be something left to get her for that.
Christmas is a time for giving and sharing, and caring about others. I've had some lean Christmas' and I've appreciated all that people have done to help during that time. I can't wait until I'm in a position to do as much for others as I've had people do for me, but until then I will take baby steps. I will teach the next generation that giving is important, and by passing that message on I can be a part of helping others for years, and generations. I can make a differnece a litle at a time.
1. It's great that she has so many people who love her so much and want to make her feel special
2. She doesn't need so many things, especially not all on one day.
I want her to have things she wants, and I like that she can have toys and items to make her happy, I love watching her eyes light up when she gets excited. However, I want her to learn that things need to be earned, and that sometimes we can't have everything we want. I make it a point to get her one thing (preferable a big thing!) that she's asked for, and then a couple little things I think she'll like. As wonderful as it is for her to get so many great things, what will happen if one year we can't get her everything? What if she learns that you get everything you want and suddenly it stops. She will be heartbroken, confused, and possibly feel unloved. I don't want my child to equate love with things, or with getting things.
I also can not afford to get her so many expensive items. It makes me feel like less of a mother to watch others get her such great gifts, and make mine look less important. I know that she knows I love her, and that I do the best I can for her, but I don't want to look like I'm not as good as them...Rationaly I know this is my problem and very likely just in my head, she will love me no matter what I give her for gifts, but it's still there. I want to be able to give her the things she needs and wants.
I guess what it boils down too is that I don't want a spoiled and ungrateful child, and I feel that getting her mountains of things for Christmas will lead to that. I feel that it is fair for parents to speak to those purchasing gifts and let them know that great gifts are fine, but please, be reasonable. After all, there will be a birthday in just a few months, and I need there to be something left to get her for that.
Christmas is a time for giving and sharing, and caring about others. I've had some lean Christmas' and I've appreciated all that people have done to help during that time. I can't wait until I'm in a position to do as much for others as I've had people do for me, but until then I will take baby steps. I will teach the next generation that giving is important, and by passing that message on I can be a part of helping others for years, and generations. I can make a differnece a litle at a time.