Moms used to wear sleeves, long dresses, keep their hair done, and somehow always have perfect make up. That's not me. Further more, that's not any mom I know anymore. I used to think I knew a few, but upon getting to know them better and showing up at nap time with a coffee in had, I've learned they are still in their pj's at noon some days, their houses aren't always neat (moms learn neat and clean are very differnt!) and sometimes, they need a break and a nap. Now I've realized that it is something else entirely that makes a mom great. Clean children make up for mom's dirty hair put in a pony tail, clean dishes make up for mom's fast food breakfast or granola bar in the car, and a tidy house makes up for a cleaned out car or an extra couple pounds. A ture super mom can keep her children happy even when she's exhausted and makes sure that they have what they need before she worries about what she wants. A super mom remembers that in order to be super, she needs to be herself and to care for herself as well as everyone else.
Here's just a few things that were taught as important for becoming a super mom, and how that's changed.
-super moms must always have a clean and tidy house: I say forget that. If my house is clean that's good enough for me. When you come to my house and there are toys all over the floor, that means I spend the day with my children helping them learn, grow, and have fun, before it's too late. There is time to keep it tidy when they are sleeping or in college.
-supermoms always look put together and picture perfect: maybe Supermans mom, but that's another story... Real moms, good moms, some of them can always find time to look great when going out, but stop by their house at 10pm any Friday night to see the real woman, complete with dirty hair, no make up, sweatpants and a bowl of ice cream. I know moms that look great every time they go out, but I'll say here that those are often the ones who somehow eat whatever they want without gaining weight and look great in sweatpants, the rest of us have to work for it and sometimes, it just doesn't happen.
-suerpmoms bake everything at home: for a good mom, knowing a great bakery is almost as good... I make almost everything at home, but there are other concessions to be made, such as time with my friends or a trip to the park. Even then, I cut other corners, such as premade lasagnaor TV dinners... Sure, moms can do anything, including know where to get great handmade products or homebaked goods, even if it's not their hands or home it comes from.
-supermoms never raise their voice: or at least never get caught. I do not know a single parent who has not had to speak loudly at some time or another, the important thing for a good mom t is to use it appropriately (ie child too far away to hear nicely, large crowd...) and to apologize when you use it at the wrong time. This helps your child learn that you know they don't like to be yelled at, and that it is in their control to make it stop If you answer me I won't have to yell, and then they understand it makes you unhappy to raise your voice, and as hard to believe as it is, they don't want to make you unhappy. They also learn that everyone makes mistakes and you should apologize when you do.
-supermoms do all the housework: it's likely that a lot of moms do all the housework themselves. It is popular opinion that this is the moms job, and it's just accepted that she do it. I do not necessarily feel this is the best as you are teaching your children they don't have to do it, and if they don't then someone else will. This isn't the best for the child, the parent, or the people who will live with them later. A good mom teaches their child responsibility and the skills they need to live in the world, even if it means that things aren't done up to your normal standards.
-supermoms have no past, have done nothing they don't want their child to do: not only is this unreasonable and pretty impossible, but hiding your past simply gives your child an unreasonable view of you, of life, and of what they can expect from life. Children learn through watching you, and I want my child to know that we all make mistakes and maybe even learn from mine instead of making the same ones. I'm not telling her all the things I did when she is 2, but as children grow they need to repsect their parents in order to listen, and they respect you for being truthful and for your experiences. I've been asked frequently since I got my tattoo what I'm going to say when my child asks for one. I'm going to say that it needs to be planned, thought about, the place should be researched, and make sure you won't change your mind a year later. I've had mine 11 years now, I only cover it out of respect in certain situations, and I don't regret it. My daughter has seen it, knows what it is, and will grow up with that knowledge. A great mom can still have a tattoo, or a peircing, or one day got a speeding ticket.
-supermoms never make mistakes: Good moms know how to handle a mistake, own it, fix it, and learn from it, maybe even help their child learn from their mistakes. All people make mistakes, and children need to know that mistakes happen so they don't think there is something wrong with them when they make one.
-supermoms know everything: no one knows everything, that's impossible, but good moms sure do know a lot! A valuable piece of information is where to look when you don't know something.
Supermoms are everywhere. They have worked hard, slept little, baked a lot, and lived a full life. They help their children learn and grow, and they keep childhood fun. These are the women who raised us, who raised our parents, and who will help us raise our children. We are supermoms in a busy world full of changes, sometimes we just need a reminder that super isn't perfect, and sometimes even good moms have tattoos.