I know, I probably shouldn't take parenting advice from a TV sitcom, or look for ways to be more like them, but sometimes you need to just relax a little and enjoy something that doesn't need concentration (yes, I use TV and books, and I'm not ashamed of either) especially when it's been a long hard day and there's been no down time. I just took it one step further: I found a TV mom who makes me feel better about how I parent and gives me hope that I'm like other moms out there and not falling behind everyone else.
Moms used to want to be like Beaver's mom, they wanted to be like Bewitched, or the Partridge Family. How many of our moms can look at the Brady Bunch and say they tried to be more like the characters there? So maybe it's time that TV saw what's changing and made realistic expectations and gave us TV moms who make us feel better about ourselves rather then make us want increased coffee and a wine before bed.
I've been watching The Middle and they are actually like a real family. Things happen to them that happen to all of us. People lose jobs, kids get embarrassed, parents argue, but at the end of the day things get done and relationships are mended. This is a mom who has children who respect her and can balance a job or school and kids and a husband, but she doesn't always look amazing, she leaves the house in whatever she threw on, she works hard, and she picks up the random socks from around the house. While her kids don't wear designer clothes they are clean and fed, the house is functional though not spotless, and she somehow gets them to church on Sunday. This to me is a great mom. She doesn't expect or portray perfection, but shows me that children don't need that. They need love and whatever time we can give them. They need clean clothes that fit, and a mom who finds time in her schedule for them. They also need to learn that we can't always drop everything else and do what they want, that if we are going to their school thing then something else won't get done, and she shows we can balance life with more then one child by balancing our time with them and making them all feel special somehow.
I like to see someone else who doesn't always want to be at the Christmas concert, or meet with the teacher. It's calming to me to know that although I'm not perfect I'm still getting it done, to see that sometimes barely is enough, and that if you get something done last minute that it's still done.
I think there are more moms like that out there then we think. I think that we all put so much pressure on ourselves that others only see our goals and our accomplishments and not how close we are to not getting it done, they don't see what didn't get finished instead, and they assume our relationships are wonderful. I'd like to look closer at some families and see if they are also just skimming the top of the to do list or if they complete it all. I'm willing to bet that more then we think are just getting done what's most important and floating by on what they can.
This TV mom has helped save me from pushing myself too hard, from taking on too much, and from feeling guilty about every little mistake or double booking. I get it done, and that's enough.