Have you ever noticed that by a certain age the greeting you get from friends and family is quickly followed by "Don't worry, we'll find you someone soon"? I could understand this if I was having a whiney day and complaining about my semi-permanant singledom, but when I ask if you'd like a coffee and your reply is "we'll find you someone" that's just weird!
I'm now fondly remembering the days when girls were competitive and wanted to have boyfriends themselves but liked having their friends single. Whether it was for a sounding board or to make them feel even better about themselves, the single female friend was coveted, and now I find myslef frowned upon and outcasted, or being pressured by everyone to find "someone". Not THE someone, just A someone... Well guess what, I have a cat, I have friends, and I have coffeee, that's a lot of somenones in my opinion. It's even worse when you tell someone that everyone is pressuring you and trying to set you up and take you out, and that it hurts your feelings and is becoming bothersome, then the next time you chat it's always "I'll ask my boyfriend if he knows anyone" Do you suddenly start speaking a different language because you are single? Is there a secret way to make them hear you when you speak? I would love to know how to get it through to them. To be honest, I don't think I remember the last time some people heard what I was saying rather then what they wanted me to be saying...
I dont' want "eye candy" I don't want "friends with benefits" and I certainly don't want a placeholder until I find the right guy. I want to have fun, and hang out with my friends, and grow and learn, and be happy on my own. I am a firm believer that you can't be happy with someone else until you can be happy on your own. It puts all the pressure on the other person or on the relationship to make you happy with who you are, and that's simply not possible. You must be comfortable in your own skin, confident, and happy before you will be able to help someone else be happy. When you are ready, when you know who you are and how valuable you are, then you can enter a healthy relationship and bond well.
I think I'm ready to date. Perhaps just casually, test the water a little... That does not mean that I can't stay single, or that I need to be set up with every random you meet in a bar, or that I need to go to a bar and find my own random. It simply means that I'm ready to explore how prepared I am to date. I'm ready to go out, and have fun, and look for some companionship. Maybe I'll find love and maybe I won't, but I sure won't find it while I'm hiding from friends and family so I'm not being pressured. Somethings I just need to do at my own speed.
The question is though, why do they not think we are good enough alone? I don't understand why they can't be my friend the way I am. I am strong, confident, fun, and just plain awesome. Yes, there is a man out there who will like me for who I am, now why can't my friends? Being happy alone and finding myself is necessary, and will help me in any relationship I enter, it's all a part of growing my wings.
I'm now fondly remembering the days when girls were competitive and wanted to have boyfriends themselves but liked having their friends single. Whether it was for a sounding board or to make them feel even better about themselves, the single female friend was coveted, and now I find myslef frowned upon and outcasted, or being pressured by everyone to find "someone". Not THE someone, just A someone... Well guess what, I have a cat, I have friends, and I have coffeee, that's a lot of somenones in my opinion. It's even worse when you tell someone that everyone is pressuring you and trying to set you up and take you out, and that it hurts your feelings and is becoming bothersome, then the next time you chat it's always "I'll ask my boyfriend if he knows anyone" Do you suddenly start speaking a different language because you are single? Is there a secret way to make them hear you when you speak? I would love to know how to get it through to them. To be honest, I don't think I remember the last time some people heard what I was saying rather then what they wanted me to be saying...
I dont' want "eye candy" I don't want "friends with benefits" and I certainly don't want a placeholder until I find the right guy. I want to have fun, and hang out with my friends, and grow and learn, and be happy on my own. I am a firm believer that you can't be happy with someone else until you can be happy on your own. It puts all the pressure on the other person or on the relationship to make you happy with who you are, and that's simply not possible. You must be comfortable in your own skin, confident, and happy before you will be able to help someone else be happy. When you are ready, when you know who you are and how valuable you are, then you can enter a healthy relationship and bond well.
I think I'm ready to date. Perhaps just casually, test the water a little... That does not mean that I can't stay single, or that I need to be set up with every random you meet in a bar, or that I need to go to a bar and find my own random. It simply means that I'm ready to explore how prepared I am to date. I'm ready to go out, and have fun, and look for some companionship. Maybe I'll find love and maybe I won't, but I sure won't find it while I'm hiding from friends and family so I'm not being pressured. Somethings I just need to do at my own speed.
The question is though, why do they not think we are good enough alone? I don't understand why they can't be my friend the way I am. I am strong, confident, fun, and just plain awesome. Yes, there is a man out there who will like me for who I am, now why can't my friends? Being happy alone and finding myself is necessary, and will help me in any relationship I enter, it's all a part of growing my wings.