I've been single for a while. It's no secret and I don't try at all to hide it. In fact I'm pretty ok with it. It seems I'm healthier and happier when I'm single. That only tells me that I've not met the right person, the one who will make me comfortable doing all the things I love and not having to conform to the life he wants me to have.
I have been single so long thr my friends are certain they have all the answers and that I should what they are doing so I can find someone to go out with. I have just a few things I want to saw about it.
1. If you are older then I am and still single, what you are doing clearly isn't working so your opinion on this matter means nothing to me. I will however follow the advice of my happily married friends (MY idea of happily married, not yours)
2. If it makes me feel unsafe then it's not the right thing for me to do.
3. I want something different from my relationship then you do yours. We are all different people and want and need different things. I don't want to be the one to persue a man, I don't want to feel like I am the man in the relationship. Some women like it the other way, and that's fine, I respect it and good for them, but it's not me. Therefore I won't be the one to ask out a random guy just because you say I should. I mean to start how I intend to carry on, so I won't force what doesn't feel right to me. The right guy will come along without me having to change the basics of myself.
4. By telling me to do everything different you are asking me to be someone I'm not. If you don't like me the way I am then why are you my friend? If I'm good enough for you this way then I'm good enough for a man this way too.
5. If you met all your ex boyfriends and guys you dated once all at te same place then that place isn't working, don't telle to try it as you met a lot of great guys there. If they were so great you wouldn't still be going back for more.
6. I do not wish to date random guys of little interest simply to date. I want to form te basis for a relationship and if I am not attracted to someone on any level or there are deal breakers present, then I choose not to waste my time with him. I'd rather be with my friends then spend time with someone I don't want to be around.
7. There is nothing wron with being single for a while, especially after a long relationship. When I have completely healed and ready then I will be open to dating. Not before.
8. If you think I'm being too picky, then either you don't care enough about me and my happiness or you are looking out only for your best interest and not mine. I would rather be single and wait for the right guy the have a string of bad dates or breakups behind me. I'm not new to this, and I know what I want an what I don't. Some are negotiable, but others aren't. Example: If I know I'm not comfortable being taller then the man, it's better to not date him because of it then to dump him because of it.
9. I like odd numbers so I'm ending with 9! If I'm not concerned about my relationship status then you don't need to worry about it either. Thanks anyway.
I do appreciate how much my friends care, and it's great that they want me to e happy. Sometimes people just need a reminder that what makes them happy wont always be what makes me happy.