I've been wondering what it is about me that makes it so hard to make new friends, and harder to meet men. Tonight it occurred to me that it is an extension of my being shy.
I have worked on being approachable, an even tried to become comfortable starting conversations, but I don't feel comfortable asking people questions. Part of it is how I was raised, the other just that I'm shy and don't want to offend, the last part being that I don't want to ask the wrong question and create tension.
It occurred to me that my inability to properly ask questions has hindered my social life. People likely assume that I'm jot interested or don't care, when really simply trying not to offend them. This is one thing I need to work on.
The other has plagued me for years, since jr high at least! I tend to follow or participate in more then one conversation, or get distracted by things happening around me. This can cause confusion as make me look rude when a question is asked or a statement made and I am still replying to the last one I heard. The wrong person always feels that my comment was directed to them, and a solid and positive response to one statement can come across as rude or insulting to another. Even worse is when I'm being sarcastic to one of my friends when joking around an an innocent bystander who happened to ask a question feels I was responding to them... This always makes me feel horrible and embarrassed, yet it's happened more then once.
These are things I will now take an active stance on correcting and working on. I don't want people to think I'm someone I'm not, and I spend most of my days with people doing my best to be kind and I go out of my way not to be insulting or rude. Guess I haven't been doing a good enough job!
It also doesn't help that I get nervous around new people, or even people ive not seen in years. Here's hopin people are understanding and kind enough to look past that and get to know the real me.
I have worked on being approachable, an even tried to become comfortable starting conversations, but I don't feel comfortable asking people questions. Part of it is how I was raised, the other just that I'm shy and don't want to offend, the last part being that I don't want to ask the wrong question and create tension.
It occurred to me that my inability to properly ask questions has hindered my social life. People likely assume that I'm jot interested or don't care, when really simply trying not to offend them. This is one thing I need to work on.
The other has plagued me for years, since jr high at least! I tend to follow or participate in more then one conversation, or get distracted by things happening around me. This can cause confusion as make me look rude when a question is asked or a statement made and I am still replying to the last one I heard. The wrong person always feels that my comment was directed to them, and a solid and positive response to one statement can come across as rude or insulting to another. Even worse is when I'm being sarcastic to one of my friends when joking around an an innocent bystander who happened to ask a question feels I was responding to them... This always makes me feel horrible and embarrassed, yet it's happened more then once.
These are things I will now take an active stance on correcting and working on. I don't want people to think I'm someone I'm not, and I spend most of my days with people doing my best to be kind and I go out of my way not to be insulting or rude. Guess I haven't been doing a good enough job!
It also doesn't help that I get nervous around new people, or even people ive not seen in years. Here's hopin people are understanding and kind enough to look past that and get to know the real me.