We all have our own set of red flags. I'm going to share some that I've run into lately. These are things that may seem small, or may reach out and slap you in the face, but either way I want nothing to do with them.
-when you tell him you can't go, he tells you ways you should get around it, or even tries to remove the obstacle yourself (like talking to my family to find me a sitter when I said I can't go, even though I've only met him a few times...)
-when you can't make it exactly when and where they want they are snide or rude about it, or announce you won't be speaking again, either for a while or ever
-tell you that they don't want to talk to you agian, avoid you for months or years, then act like you are best friends
-lie about drinking
-tell you not to be jealous when you have no intentions of it or reason to be (I had a guy tell me not to be jealous when we hadn't even been on a date yet, and he was just hanging out with a friend) Why do they need to be so defensive?
-lie about other women. This can go either way, they may lie about who someone is if you now different, either say she's family when she's not, or say she's a date when she's not. Either way, it's a lie
-lie about little things that don't matter, they will likely lie about big things too
-assume that you are angry or "attacking" them when you are making a simple comment or observation. If they are overly defensive I"ve found they have a reason to be
-judge and insult others, especially women, harshly when they don't know them, or when they don't know you very well. In my experience they will judge you, especially if you change at all (hair, weight, habits)
-call you or text you late at night, especially after you've asked them not too. This is just inconsiderate and I've seen it spill over into other parts of life frequently
-insults your weight, even if he tries to make it look like he's joking. This also works for other things that are upsetting to you, such as insulting your intelligence, or "joking" about all the things you can't do. Some couples joke and tease in a relationship, but if you are just learning about each other or if it is constant it can become very poisonious
These are just a few of the red flags I've encout
I thought I had a few good friends, and some ok friends, and some aquatiences. This week I am learning more and more who my real friends are, who my sometimes friends are, and who isn't as good a friend as I thought.
Apparently I am better friends, or thought I was better friends, with a few people then they think. I rather wish I had known before I put in so much effort. I have tried to maintain friendships but when it's all one way then it won't work anyway. I feel like I am putting effort into things and getting nothing back.
Women have some shows and parties. It happens. We get pulled in by the offer of free stuff! I try to always go to theirs, and when it's something I will use I try to always order. I don't always receive invites, but when I do I go :) Do they ever come to mine? Nope! Oh and the excuses! OR the plain ignoring me that goes on after. Just grow up and tell me the truth. "I'm not interested" "I'm in the city and won't get home" or, I'm sure the most common but never mentioned "I completely forgot!" Nope, I get blown off. Rude. Inconsiderate. Even hurtful. Will I go to thir next one? Probably, if only to network and have a night out. I won't be purchasing anything not completely necessary though!
Friends share information, highs and lows, and like talking and chatting. When I have to always call them, or text them, or leave them messages, then I begin to feel that they don't really want to talk to me, so are we really friends? I learn things through others, or I infer from the clues that are in front of me, or I see things on Facebook. Why then would I share my news or anything with them? Maybe that's their whole point. Guess I'll stop sharing! They tell other people though, and go to other people's home parties, and call and text other people...I can live with that, but then when I talk to you less, then please don't tell me I'm your best friend and you miss me. That's not true and we both know it. Call me or don't call me, that's how I know!
I do have a lot of good friends. I have friends that I am lucky to have and I speak to them almost daily. I'm going to focus on them, they are happy to hear from me, and they share their news :) I'm looking for new friends still too, and new things to do. A larger circle offer
Well, after about a year and a half of "deciding" what I wanted to do with my hair, I just went out and did something. I've been trimming my bangs in my bathroom mirror and every once in a while I'd convince a friend to trim off the split ends. That's ok for a while, but eventually you just need to go out and get pampered and have it cut.
So, I took about 5 minutes when I got to the new salon (scary enough to be somewhere new!) and found a picture in a book that I liked, and jumped right in. Surprisingly enough, in the end I learned there are a few ways I can style it, one being like the book that I liked and the other being a style I had seen on TV that I admired last week. That made me even happier, it's like a two for one!
There's something about a new haircut that makes me want to review everything. Am I wearing the right clothes? Maybe it's time for some new make up... I definitely want to make sure that I'm showing the right image, that I'm being true to myself and that I can like how I look. It's time to go back to being a little more professional, a little more fun, and maybe even feel a little younger looking. Something about a new hairstyle is exciting and adventurous. This week might be full of new ideas now :)
I'm feeling confident and attractive. I feel lke it suits me better. I feel more fun. This was a great decision! Also, what woman doesn't love being pampered and taken care of for a while, while someone else makes you look pretty. I think this could be the start of a new adventure!