Here's a common truth that everyones knows, yet people don't seem to consider it very often. Each child who comes in contact with mine is likely to influence her in some way. This usually isn't a big issue, because what I teach her at home has a stronger and more lasting affect, but since this school year started it's becoming much more of an issue. My daughter is expected to behave in a certain way, and I ensure that rules are followed and expectations are met. When we get to school however, it is becoming an issue.
The rules at school are similar to any other, I'm sure. They sholdn't run (especially near stairs) no child leaves without an adult (and the teachers must be aware ahead of time which adult it will be) and they are not to hurt each other. Now, I'm at a crossroads because not only are these rules not being enforced, but none of the other behaviours I would expect to see are being enforced either.
While waiting for dismissal the other day, my daughter ran past me with 2 other girls, it being a safety issue I asked the girls to stop running, and when that was not successful I specifically started with mine, calling their names. The teacher and other parents just watched. The parents of the girls running were present, and I was pleased to see the second one step in and stop her child. Too late. Mine was already calling me the meanest mommy every and quietly crying because I made her stop and her friends can do what they want, upon showing her the second one who had also been stopped she calmed down, but I am still left with the results of the others. This is also the ONLY time all year that the parent of ANY of the other girls have stepped in, so I thanked her. It seems that the way other people raise their children is now affecting mine.
The girls in this group have also started pulling on each other while they are running, and have started running up the stairs, the others without a parent. While mine will wait for me to pick her up, she is starting to become more brave, and now she will take off up the stairs as well, and I'm to find her at the top. Well, that's great for other people if they want but I don't think so! Children running up the stairs is NOT ok in my books, and grabbing onto and pulling each other only makes it worse.
Children will be children. My main concern here is the lack of attention from the other parents and the fact that they simply don't seem to care. Their children are going to get hurt, and they are going to get mine hurt as well. This is not ok with me, and I'm getting very frustrated. In a society where it takes a communtiy to raise a child, why am I supposed to raise mine to lower standards? I think it's time that everyone look at how their child behaves and how that behaviour is affecting those around them.
I"m not a perfect parent. I've taught my children things I probably shouldn't (I've been told little girls shouldn't spit for distance, drink the milk from their cereal bowl, or be allowed to shove their clothes into drawers however they want...) but I make sure that she knows there are differences in how we behave at home and outside the home. At our house if she wants to eat with her fingers that's fine, but other places we use silverware, if she wants to run across my living room she can, but we never run in other peoples houses, and it is certainly not allowed to be out of my sight when we are anywhere but home or a friends house. She is old enough to understand this, and it works for us. If it didn't, then the rules at home would be the ones we now follow when we go out.
Should parents be enforcing rules at school? If you see another parent tell their child not to do something as it's not safe, do you then allow your child to do it? Or do you suggest they wait until later as their friend(s) aren't allowed to do it? I a mnot trying to be unreasonable or inconsiderate, I don't want to tell you how to raise YOUR child, I simply want some support and consideration in how MY child is raised. As a parent, you and your child are influential on my child as well. I cover my tattoo so your 5 year old isn't asking questions you don't want to answer, I feel you can ask yours not to pull on mine when the are one the stairs.
Please feel free to leave comments, especially suggestions on how to manage this situation. I just want them all to be safe and to feel like all the parents/adults are on the same team :)
The rules at school are similar to any other, I'm sure. They sholdn't run (especially near stairs) no child leaves without an adult (and the teachers must be aware ahead of time which adult it will be) and they are not to hurt each other. Now, I'm at a crossroads because not only are these rules not being enforced, but none of the other behaviours I would expect to see are being enforced either.
While waiting for dismissal the other day, my daughter ran past me with 2 other girls, it being a safety issue I asked the girls to stop running, and when that was not successful I specifically started with mine, calling their names. The teacher and other parents just watched. The parents of the girls running were present, and I was pleased to see the second one step in and stop her child. Too late. Mine was already calling me the meanest mommy every and quietly crying because I made her stop and her friends can do what they want, upon showing her the second one who had also been stopped she calmed down, but I am still left with the results of the others. This is also the ONLY time all year that the parent of ANY of the other girls have stepped in, so I thanked her. It seems that the way other people raise their children is now affecting mine.
The girls in this group have also started pulling on each other while they are running, and have started running up the stairs, the others without a parent. While mine will wait for me to pick her up, she is starting to become more brave, and now she will take off up the stairs as well, and I'm to find her at the top. Well, that's great for other people if they want but I don't think so! Children running up the stairs is NOT ok in my books, and grabbing onto and pulling each other only makes it worse.
Children will be children. My main concern here is the lack of attention from the other parents and the fact that they simply don't seem to care. Their children are going to get hurt, and they are going to get mine hurt as well. This is not ok with me, and I'm getting very frustrated. In a society where it takes a communtiy to raise a child, why am I supposed to raise mine to lower standards? I think it's time that everyone look at how their child behaves and how that behaviour is affecting those around them.
I"m not a perfect parent. I've taught my children things I probably shouldn't (I've been told little girls shouldn't spit for distance, drink the milk from their cereal bowl, or be allowed to shove their clothes into drawers however they want...) but I make sure that she knows there are differences in how we behave at home and outside the home. At our house if she wants to eat with her fingers that's fine, but other places we use silverware, if she wants to run across my living room she can, but we never run in other peoples houses, and it is certainly not allowed to be out of my sight when we are anywhere but home or a friends house. She is old enough to understand this, and it works for us. If it didn't, then the rules at home would be the ones we now follow when we go out.
Should parents be enforcing rules at school? If you see another parent tell their child not to do something as it's not safe, do you then allow your child to do it? Or do you suggest they wait until later as their friend(s) aren't allowed to do it? I a mnot trying to be unreasonable or inconsiderate, I don't want to tell you how to raise YOUR child, I simply want some support and consideration in how MY child is raised. As a parent, you and your child are influential on my child as well. I cover my tattoo so your 5 year old isn't asking questions you don't want to answer, I feel you can ask yours not to pull on mine when the are one the stairs.
Please feel free to leave comments, especially suggestions on how to manage this situation. I just want them all to be safe and to feel like all the parents/adults are on the same team :)