In a new twist on nature versus nurture argument, are children/teens misbehaving because of inapporpriate parenting or because that's just how these kids are?
I've been watching both sides of a discussion and I can't seem to understand how some of the involved parties see things. I know that my opinion is different then other people, because we are all individuals. However, there has to be an actual truth somewhere in the mix of this. I've not found too many articles in my short period of research, but I've read this one http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/13/health/13mind.html about how sometimes people are just mean, or rude, and it has nothing to do with the parents. On the other side I found :http://mathan42.hubpages.com/hub/troubled-kids-parenting-tips
I'm not sure about the research into either of these, howeverthey do represent the opposite sides of the conversation. I have to wonder if perhaps there is a middle ground. Perhaps some children need different parenting styles in order to either nurture good behaviours or to remove the perceived need or want of bad behaviour. Maybe some teens need a very involved parent while others feel that as pressure and rebel. Perhaps there will be no real answer ever.
One thing I have noticed as a theme in research for this topic as well as others, is that often children of very high intelligence are more likely to become troubled or have mental health issues. I've spoken to local authorities on the subjects of child development, mental illness, brain injury, and other related issues, and it seems that a common thread is the differences in the mind of an average child and a child who tests above average. This doesn't mean they are better in any way, simply that they see things differently, and react differntly. Perhaps this means that they need to be interacted with differently. In my opinion the most dangerous thing you can have in a child is an unused and unchallenged brain. That just leaves them more time and more energy to use thinking of ways to amuse themselves.Perhaps rather then try and correct bad behaviours we should help their minds grow and develope at a rate appropriate to the child so they can find better uses of their time. I have seen several highly intelligent chilren lash out because they have so much unused potential and they don't know what to do with it.
It looks to me like the solution lies not just in parenting versus personality, but in parenting FOR the personality.
I've been watching both sides of a discussion and I can't seem to understand how some of the involved parties see things. I know that my opinion is different then other people, because we are all individuals. However, there has to be an actual truth somewhere in the mix of this. I've not found too many articles in my short period of research, but I've read this one http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/13/health/13mind.html about how sometimes people are just mean, or rude, and it has nothing to do with the parents. On the other side I found :http://mathan42.hubpages.com/hub/troubled-kids-parenting-tips
I'm not sure about the research into either of these, howeverthey do represent the opposite sides of the conversation. I have to wonder if perhaps there is a middle ground. Perhaps some children need different parenting styles in order to either nurture good behaviours or to remove the perceived need or want of bad behaviour. Maybe some teens need a very involved parent while others feel that as pressure and rebel. Perhaps there will be no real answer ever.
One thing I have noticed as a theme in research for this topic as well as others, is that often children of very high intelligence are more likely to become troubled or have mental health issues. I've spoken to local authorities on the subjects of child development, mental illness, brain injury, and other related issues, and it seems that a common thread is the differences in the mind of an average child and a child who tests above average. This doesn't mean they are better in any way, simply that they see things differently, and react differntly. Perhaps this means that they need to be interacted with differently. In my opinion the most dangerous thing you can have in a child is an unused and unchallenged brain. That just leaves them more time and more energy to use thinking of ways to amuse themselves.Perhaps rather then try and correct bad behaviours we should help their minds grow and develope at a rate appropriate to the child so they can find better uses of their time. I have seen several highly intelligent chilren lash out because they have so much unused potential and they don't know what to do with it.
It looks to me like the solution lies not just in parenting versus personality, but in parenting FOR the personality.