I rather wish I could just be done with the bad mommy moments, but they seem never ending! This time I was doing well, I didn't lose y temper when she called me Pufferty, or a big horse, but when I was called mean, I got a little mad.
Apparently by never doing anything nice for the child (please note that apparently 3 meals a day, 3 snacks a day, a ride to school and home, clothes, treats, visits to the library in which no books are longer then 15 pages, trips to museums am zoos, clean clothes, Barbie games, or playing outside, do not count as nice things) I have become the meanest mommy EVER!! To which I calmly, and probably damaging her permanently, informed her that some mommies hit their kids, spend the toy money on alcohol and cigarettes (I don't drink, she probably doesn't know what alcohol is) and that make their kids walk to school alone in the snow, but I don't do any of those things so would she like to go think about that. I followed it up with offering to be meaner then I have to make sure she has something to yell at me when she's mad.
I don't know if I won or lost, but when she wanted her daddy after that and I picked up the phone to call him and tell him why I called, the tears got bigger and the apologies started flying out. I probably am meaner then him, and I likely take away more toys, but sometimes whatever works is all that matters.
This was followed by a horrible bedtime, which resulted in me wondering what would happen if I just didn't bother with bedtime anymore. I figure at some point she'd have to fall asleep. I was a little worried she would make it to breakfast and drown in her cereal, but I'm usually close enough to catch her head on the way or move the bowl... The better thought was that she would just tip over while yelling/crying/playing with toys, which seemed a lot funnier then trying to keep the strangely speedy sleepy little person in a bed, or even a bed room. The images formed did help me have a momentary break from the fight going on, but it wasnt nearly long enough, she stayed awake the whole time. Apparently the winning argument was offering to let her cry herself to sleep even though it would maker very sad, followed by a hug. Went to end the hug and ended up putting a sleeping little adorable child into bed. Yup, that's right, crazed little gremlin to wonderful sleeping doll in the spam of a 30 second hug.
At that moment another bad mommy moment arose. What I'm about to say can't ever be shared; I just put the kid down where we were and now I'm tip-toeing around scared to death to wake her. In fact, I'm totally going to bed myself. If she sleeps all night right there and never gets to her own bed, I'm ok with it. The risk of the gremlin re-appearing half way to the bed is just to high, I have to wait for the snoring to start before I even think about it!
That's not even all!! Upon too many outbursts of tears and general sadness, I made the choice to leave the school picnic and hoped that she woul fall asleep in the car. I guess once school starts thy doesn't work as fast.
My suspicion is that this child is overtired, which means neither of us is getting sleep and that getting up to watch the sunrise at this time of year should not be her goal. I prefer to awake to a room full of sun, but darned if she doesn't feel it right before it peeks over the horizon, somewhere between 4:30 and 5:30 every morning. My solution? I clearly need to go to be earlier and take longer car rides. I sure hope this is a growth spurt and passes quickly, another week and I may have removed almost all blood from my Caffiene filled veins. Other common intruders such as ear infections, stress, and weather, will also be investigated an the guilty party will be immediately evicted from my house.
Here's hoping for fewer bad mommy moments and more sleeping in!