Dear married moms,
I am not single because I thought it would be more fun. I am not single because I like to go out. I am single because he was unreliable and made me feel bad about myself. We fought, and it wasnt a good way for a baby to grow up.
When you struggle with bedtimes, food choices, clothes, so do I. I have no one to pass the torch too, as it's just me. Yes, sometimes I take the easy way out, and I don't feel bad for that. Sometimes it's easier to let her wear whatever she wants, no matter how embarrassed I am, it gets us out of the house on time and she's happy. Please stop glaring at me for it, or thinking I must be too broke to buy her better clothes. Yes, money is tight, but it is for many people. She simply chooses to wear her favorites and they don't always fit well or match.
When you post or call and share about all the girls nights you are having, or all the movies you go to, please remember I see them. It would be nice if you sometimes invited me as well. I do sometimes have child free days, and I feel forgotten.
Most importantly, I need you to stop judging my decisions about what is best for my child and my family. I have a parenting agreement. I don't like it, I didn't have a kid an think "hey, lets fight over the baby and cut all our time in half" and I certainly don't enjoy court or any of the other necessities I currently go through. If you are not a lawyer offering free services, please be supportive and understanding. Getting angry with me because I made a compromise to avoid months of court dates and thousands of dollars doesn't mean I'm a bad parent, or that I'm stupid enough to think its a great compromise. I know there are pitfalls to living my life this way, I get how much work it is to make these agreements manageable. I simply don't have much choice. The law is what it is, lawyers are expensive, and even then can only work within the current laws and precedents. Just because you think it should go differently doesn't make it the way the law goes. Your opinion that a lawyer can get it changed doesn't change the fact that my expensive lawyer with 20 years experience is telling me it won't be changed. In particular, yelling at me and telling me I'm being dumb, will not only NOT help, it will likely ensure we are no longer friends.
Please feel free to share with me your own struggles at home, your growing pains with the children. I'd love to her how your husband gets the kids to bed, I'll try almost everything once. Do you have a trick for getting them to so chores? I'd like to try that too, as I don't have someone to unload the dishwasher while I bath a baby. My time is limited and I'd rather spend it with my child then sweeping for a third time today.
Thank you,
Sincerely,
Single Moms