I've had other mommies judge me, but the secret is I judge myself harsher then they ever could. I know it's not healthy, but you expect everyone to judge everything you do, so you start to judge yourself. Was that the right decision? Am I too strict? Do I use too early a bedtime?
The thing is you need to find what works for your own family. Yes, others will judge you. It's simply human nature to compare what you do with what others do. Sometimes, it comes across as rude and mean, or condescending. Sometimes these moms aren't really trying to judge you, they are judging themselves as compared to you and this is how it comes out. Perhaps they feel that you are handling situations better then they are, and they are truly judging themselves and not you.
Bonding together, sharing stories and experience, and helping each other to remember that just like we are different out children and families are different as well helps. Each famiy works in a different way. Judging others and ourselves only makes it harder for everyone, and isn't very beneficial. We will keep doing it though, whether we mean to or not, but we must keep out judgements to ourselves. OR we can form close groups of mommies and help take the pressure off each other.
No mom needs more negative pressures on them. We are hard enough on ourselves without being hard on each other.