The decision has been made and I'm officailly going to be a hermit!!
A hermit who speaks to my child, my pets, and those in the Internet world who actually want to hear what I have to say
It seems that in "real life" I have an attitude that scares people away. I started to create boundaries to limit the hurt that I was suffering, and those seem to have alienated anyone left. So if you want to be a hermit too, these are a few of the boundaries I created, maybe they'll scare away your friends too.
1. I go to bed at 10pm, so I do not take calls or answer messages after 9:30. I need some wind down time!
2. I will not respond to messages that are less then life or death before 8am, after I've started a coffee and will be less sarcastic. Sometimes 7 am if I'm up early enough
3. If you choose to not answer 3 consecutive messages or phone calls, I will stop messaging/calling until you do.
4. Lying will not be argued over, but will also not be beneficial.
5. Consistant lying will lead to me not believing or trusting you
6. If every place I recommend meeting is deemed unaccapetable by you, then you do not get to whine about how I didn't seem to enjoy the place you choose.
7. If every thing I suggest is met with "well maybe" or "how about... instead" then I will stop making suggestions because clearly you don't actually care where I want to go but need to feel like you are being polite and asking
8. If I continually have to go to you and you never offer to come to me, I will stop going
9. If we have plans then that is what I'm doing. I will not send 4 confirmation messages, and yes, I still expect you to show up
10. If you continually are late I will know you do not respect me or my time, and that I really am not that important to you, so I will likely stop making plans with you
11. If I think you are going to cancel, and you do, you don't get to be mad at me for thinking you might. I was right. Deal with it.
12. If I can go outside my comfort zone for you all the time then once in a while you could do the same for me. Otherwise stop expecting me to.
13. I will no longer be bullied
14. If you are only messaging to tell me all the things you hate about me, don't. I have ex-boyfriends who have already covered everything and my self esteem is precarious as it is. If you want to bully someone, find someone else. Preferably a jail house pen pal.
15. If you have time to talk to everyone else, go out with everyone else, AND post about it on FB, then expect that I will feel less important that you have no time for me, and this will affect how far out of my way I'm willing to go for you.
16. I want to share my good news. I have lots of bad, but I'd like to share the good. If you can't be bothered to listen to the good as well, then I don't care to share the rest
17. If I agree with you, then you can't turn around and tell me how wrong I am.
I think that's lots. I think that's most of them. If you look, many of them are about the same thing, the same idea, and it's all about courtesy and respect. You wouldn't treat an animal the way you treat me, so why should I stick around. Take this attitude forth into the world!! Act as though you and your feelings are as important as those around you! Tell them when they have hurt your feelings!!
Soon, you will learn what great friends you really have, or you will become a hermit like me.
A hermit who speaks to my child, my pets, and those in the Internet world who actually want to hear what I have to say
It seems that in "real life" I have an attitude that scares people away. I started to create boundaries to limit the hurt that I was suffering, and those seem to have alienated anyone left. So if you want to be a hermit too, these are a few of the boundaries I created, maybe they'll scare away your friends too.
1. I go to bed at 10pm, so I do not take calls or answer messages after 9:30. I need some wind down time!
2. I will not respond to messages that are less then life or death before 8am, after I've started a coffee and will be less sarcastic. Sometimes 7 am if I'm up early enough
3. If you choose to not answer 3 consecutive messages or phone calls, I will stop messaging/calling until you do.
4. Lying will not be argued over, but will also not be beneficial.
5. Consistant lying will lead to me not believing or trusting you
6. If every place I recommend meeting is deemed unaccapetable by you, then you do not get to whine about how I didn't seem to enjoy the place you choose.
7. If every thing I suggest is met with "well maybe" or "how about... instead" then I will stop making suggestions because clearly you don't actually care where I want to go but need to feel like you are being polite and asking
8. If I continually have to go to you and you never offer to come to me, I will stop going
9. If we have plans then that is what I'm doing. I will not send 4 confirmation messages, and yes, I still expect you to show up
10. If you continually are late I will know you do not respect me or my time, and that I really am not that important to you, so I will likely stop making plans with you
11. If I think you are going to cancel, and you do, you don't get to be mad at me for thinking you might. I was right. Deal with it.
12. If I can go outside my comfort zone for you all the time then once in a while you could do the same for me. Otherwise stop expecting me to.
13. I will no longer be bullied
14. If you are only messaging to tell me all the things you hate about me, don't. I have ex-boyfriends who have already covered everything and my self esteem is precarious as it is. If you want to bully someone, find someone else. Preferably a jail house pen pal.
15. If you have time to talk to everyone else, go out with everyone else, AND post about it on FB, then expect that I will feel less important that you have no time for me, and this will affect how far out of my way I'm willing to go for you.
16. I want to share my good news. I have lots of bad, but I'd like to share the good. If you can't be bothered to listen to the good as well, then I don't care to share the rest
17. If I agree with you, then you can't turn around and tell me how wrong I am.
I think that's lots. I think that's most of them. If you look, many of them are about the same thing, the same idea, and it's all about courtesy and respect. You wouldn't treat an animal the way you treat me, so why should I stick around. Take this attitude forth into the world!! Act as though you and your feelings are as important as those around you! Tell them when they have hurt your feelings!!
Soon, you will learn what great friends you really have, or you will become a hermit like me.