I just read a blog that I found via a FB post. In reading it, then some of the comments following it, it occured to me that everyone seems to want to work in extremes. If you love spending every minute with your children (even the hard ones) then you're making it up or lying, or just off your rocker, but if you admit that it's hard to parent and sometimes you look forward to bed time, then you are not a good enough parent and you are wasting time.
Well, I stand in the middle. I LOVE my time home with her, and I wouldn't trade it for everything, but when the whining and screaming and throwing and sometimes even hitting becomes too much, yup, it's early bed!
In all honesty, I miss her about 5 minutes after she falls asleep. However, those first five minutes, when I can look at her innocence and listen to the slow breathing, I know why I do it all. Someitmes, I need that time. To look at the day and remember the amazing parts, to assure myself that tomorrow I will see more of them and less of the coffee addiction causing chaos that is the rest of the day. Maybe it won't work, but such is life as a parent.
Knowing our limits, running out of energy and patience, does NOT make you less of an amazing parent, it makes you human and honest. It might not be great, and yhou may feel bad, but getting frustrated sometimes and telling them enough is enough, take a nap, well maybe they'll learn that when I'm tired I should sleep, or if I'm mean to someone else there are consequences. I'd rather she get me mad and see that there are small consequences (time out, no dessert) then go out in the real world having never heard someone raise their voice and spend the whole day in tears because the teacher soke loudly to be heard over the noise (and yes, I have seen this, it was hard). And you may all judge me, I expect it, but she's even heard me say the odd bad word! Usually I stick to crud and oops and holding my breath, but sometimes she'll hear an "oh crap that hurt" but that's the real world. I get the typical "that's a bad word" but that just leads to a chat on why we don't use bad words and how they make other people feel. But, real world, she's going to hear it somewhere someday.
I am not a bad parent. I am human. I get tired. I get frustrated. I earn the right to go to bed early with a good book once in a while. This is reality, and these things do not mean we don't enjoy the good times, or even the bad (I'd rather be exhausted and close to tears with her yelling across the room then not have her any day!) but it does mean that no one is perfect, including out children, and everyone may as well realize it now and live with it.
You are a good mom if your chldren are clean more often then not, if they almost always have full tummies (I said eat your broccoli or no dessert is their choice, not your fault...) and if they know you love them and they are safe with you.
Well, I stand in the middle. I LOVE my time home with her, and I wouldn't trade it for everything, but when the whining and screaming and throwing and sometimes even hitting becomes too much, yup, it's early bed!
In all honesty, I miss her about 5 minutes after she falls asleep. However, those first five minutes, when I can look at her innocence and listen to the slow breathing, I know why I do it all. Someitmes, I need that time. To look at the day and remember the amazing parts, to assure myself that tomorrow I will see more of them and less of the coffee addiction causing chaos that is the rest of the day. Maybe it won't work, but such is life as a parent.
Knowing our limits, running out of energy and patience, does NOT make you less of an amazing parent, it makes you human and honest. It might not be great, and yhou may feel bad, but getting frustrated sometimes and telling them enough is enough, take a nap, well maybe they'll learn that when I'm tired I should sleep, or if I'm mean to someone else there are consequences. I'd rather she get me mad and see that there are small consequences (time out, no dessert) then go out in the real world having never heard someone raise their voice and spend the whole day in tears because the teacher soke loudly to be heard over the noise (and yes, I have seen this, it was hard). And you may all judge me, I expect it, but she's even heard me say the odd bad word! Usually I stick to crud and oops and holding my breath, but sometimes she'll hear an "oh crap that hurt" but that's the real world. I get the typical "that's a bad word" but that just leads to a chat on why we don't use bad words and how they make other people feel. But, real world, she's going to hear it somewhere someday.
I am not a bad parent. I am human. I get tired. I get frustrated. I earn the right to go to bed early with a good book once in a while. This is reality, and these things do not mean we don't enjoy the good times, or even the bad (I'd rather be exhausted and close to tears with her yelling across the room then not have her any day!) but it does mean that no one is perfect, including out children, and everyone may as well realize it now and live with it.
You are a good mom if your chldren are clean more often then not, if they almost always have full tummies (I said eat your broccoli or no dessert is their choice, not your fault...) and if they know you love them and they are safe with you.